As the day came, it was a nice, sunny morning. I got up, stretched my arms and legs until i could reach the headboard. I stretched like as if i was a rubber band. As i got up, it felt like i got taller, taller like a tree, but a tree with no leaves. I was still in my pajamas walking straight to the kitchen. I brought out eggs, spam, sauce, and rice. I turn the heat up on my white stove with four silver plates. I placed a pan on top and started to cook fried rice.
After my morning went by wonderfully, I decided to go out and do what i love to do. DANCE. Thats what i love to do. So what happened as I was dancing, I chose to take a break. A break where i got to have a small talk with the person i used to like. Yes we were talking, and did have feelings, it felt like as if we were together. I know im not suppose to have a boyfriend, but that doesnt mean you can't talk to them, or like them. Well, anyways, i knew my heart was racing as if the stars in the sky were racing around the world . It was fast like i couldnt stand my emotions. It felt like i was on another planet, a planet where i can do anything that would make me happy. Im not saying that where i am standing doesnt make me happy, but the emotions which do lead me through a wonderful feeling.
Few weeks later, i watch movies with him and my friends, and more. Yes we sat next to each other but did not do anything. i was happy that i got to spend time with him and my friends. We did walk around, we did eat, and we did take pictures. We stayed at the mall for like 6-8 hours, wasnt to long but worth the time. As the day at the mall came to an end, thats when we said goodbye. I walked to my cousins car, a dark blue car, thats just sitting in the parking lot, waiting to be driven. We were on the free way, and HE texted me. I had a smile.I talked to him throughout the whole ride home. Once my cousin stepped on the break, i knew we were home. Park in front of the house that i live in.
Afterwards, my cousin took me out to drive, i went in the passenger seat and wait. I waited, and waited, and waited. Waiting for my cousin is like waiting for the day that you'll get your next pay check. But anyways, she said to me, "what are you doing in the passenger seat?" I questioned her with no attitude but with a confused thought. She told me to drive, she taught me the gears and everything. We drove to the park, what we did was gaze at the clouds and talked. Shes the best cousin to get advice from. She gave me advice about everything, family, guys, friends, school, basically anything that i have troubles with. So thats when i knew i was close into coming to the age, the age where i get the talk.
Later as i got home, i got a text, and a text from him. We talked and talked but then came to a devastated conversations. He told me sorry, a sorry which i can never understand, comign from him. He never did anything wrong. But once he explained things, got me tearing. I felt as if i was a mistake or a rebound. Not a rebound like in basketball but a rebound as in a backup. I felt stupid, and was filled with broken shattered pieces of my heart. He kept saying sorry, i knew it wasnt his fault, but mine. So i told him about how i tried and tried to be with him but then it fell apart. Now thats when i knew growing up isnt that easy, not only with the ages but relationship. As i get older i understand why it doesnt work out. I told him, "Waiting for you is like waiting for rain, rain that will finally fall in a dry dessert. But the only rain that is falling at this very moment is my tears, tears filled with the moments we had, and which is now being dumped into a trash. which feels everything is a waste."
I cried and cried, cried for two days. then i realized, its time to let go. So as i get older, i want to spend my time wisely with everyone. Don't want to live with regretting, pity, guilt, or anything that leads me to go down hill. As i get to the age where time does come, i will soon know that every age that i have been through, is filled with happiness and love. My coming of age doesn't get younger but to that special point where i get older. Life changes me, every minute, second, and breathe that i take everyday.And that is my coming of age.
Hi Jer! I really can see the emotion that you put into this essay. However, I felt that the beginning of your essay, where you went through your morning set a different type of tone for your essay that was a bit distracting. Also, be sure that you stay focused specifically to your coming of age, and avoid putting in irrelevant information that takes away from the focus of the essay. I wasn't too sure what your coming of age was because it seemed like you had more than one (you focused on driving for a part of the essay, then talking to your cousin, plus the end!) In addition, be sure that you proofread (capitalize your "i"'s, put spaces in between sentences, past/current/future tenses). Watch out for incomplete sentences such as: "Park in front of the house that i live in." [It could be "We parked in from of my house." or something of the sort.] And remember that you need to make a new line for dialogue! For ex,
ReplyDeleteWaiting for my cousin is like waiting for the day that you'll get your next pay check. But anyways, she said to me, "what are you doing in the passenger seat?" I questioned her with no attitude but with a confused thought.
Should be:
Waiting for my cousin is like waiting for the day that you'll get your next pay check. [new line]
But anyways, she said to me, "what are you doing in the passenger seat?" [new line]
I questioned her with no attitude but with a confused thought.
Be sure to show, not tell! :) Instead of telling us what happened, it might be easier for us(the reader) to understand if we can visualize a scene where action is taking place(descriptive and/or sensory language).
-Leah