Since the day I was born i started to eat like a pig. As i grew older my special place ended up wehre you ask?? Obviously the kitchen. aha. I love my kitchen. Thats the one place where i love to be myself. You might not or do know me by now but im am SKINNY! I just hate it when people tease me on how i am so skinny. Well now i dont have a problem. I am for who I am. I am a heck of an eater.
As I look around my kitchen there it was FOOD!! I actually love food. I dont know why, but I am a heck of an eater. Once I open the fridge you can see and feel the smoke of the cold air brushing through your face and flowing on the top of the food. So as I continued gathering all of my food together. As i was done I head off to the stove. I drag my chair to the counter table and just eat there. I opened my mouth very wide. "AAHHHH" then i go for the attack. "MUUNCH!" "mmmmm"
Trust me I would do anything for food. I mostly eat a lot of food when I am depressed. -________- But hey no matter what i eat a lot. Enter me into a contest it doesnt matter at least its food eh?? Cant finish your food?? Im your personal trash can. aha. people think its wierd for me as a girl to eat a lot but i dont have a problem with that. Im fine.
Back to my kitchen. My kitchen is very small but holds lots and lots of food. And my stomach holds lots and lots of food. But it doesnt go anywhere sadly. As i turn on the stove you can hear a hissing noise. "HISSSS"
I love that noise because its a song of food. :) It just gets into my head like its just saying "jerica eat me!!!!" ahah but i wont eat the stove but I will eat the food ont the stove.
This is essay was pretty good except for some things. One thing I liked were how you used onomatopoeias to describe when you eat food. There are somethings that could use some changing. I think you should put the last paragraph should put it near the second paragraph or merge it with the second paragraph. One thing you could add is what food are in your kitchen that you like to eat. Another thing you could add is more sensory details to describe your kitchen and what is in it. But other than that this essay was pretty good.
ReplyDeleteDear Jerica,
ReplyDeleteyour essay has real good potential,but you should fix up a few parts.
you could use some sensory details to describe what your food looks and tastes like.your organization is a little off,
wait i come back!