You can dance with me as you feel my rhythm.
Maybe I could teach you in a video, but you have to take it easy.
I bring different emotions every time you listen to me.
Just take your time to learn from me.
You can take me on a journey to keep you company.
People say I am very skinny.
But what you have noticed I carry alot of memories.
I come in different applications.
I come in many packages such as applications.
I come with the skill of dancing or even the skill of drawing.
You can scroll me down,
to search the type of beat,
that seems to fit me as you may seem.
I am like an iPod touch.
Dear Jerica :)
ReplyDeleteI thought your poem was great.
I liked how you compared yourself to an iTouch. It does match you. I think you could improve on is word choice and adding more verbs to make it sound more realistic. I could see you as an itouch though xP haha! I like the part where it says "People say I am very skinny. But what you have noticed, I carry a lot of memories" :D but Overall, I think that was a good poem.
<3lauren
This is a really great poem ! (= i loved it Jerica !
ReplyDeleteBut i think theres a repeat on the "applications" line...
Overall, everything was great, nice flow, & great choice of WORDS.
(=
-Sziezel Pascua
Hi Jerica,
ReplyDeleteNice job on your poem. You came up with a lot of good comparisons of yourself to an ipod. I agree with Sziezel about the repetition of "applications." And I think you need to add a bit more about yourself, characteristics, etc that match with the qualities you bring up for the ipod.
mrs s